I wanted you too much
I think my heart knows why you just had to go
Has to be because I had longed for you so.
Wanting anything so much is just tempting fate.
So strong my yearning, my pain just as great.
Month after month of negative tests
Yet still your daddy hoped for the best.
Nearly three years of being told no.
You can’t imagine the thrill as that line started to show.
I didn’t believe it could really be true
But that second test screamed we had finally made you.
I couldn’t stop shaking from the joy and the fear.
Something so precious and fragile was here.
We wanted time to get our heads around it.
Before the chance to be able to shout it.
To tell the world I was pregnant at last.
But my heart was lifted, then broken so fast.
Empty, hurting in every way I could be.
Finding it hard not to blame it on me.
Was it my fault we will never touch
My baby gone I wanted you too much.
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